Archive for January, 2005

Why Is it That I Attract Psychos?

January 31, 2005

I seem to attract a certain type of psycho, like moth to flame.

It goes something like this: boys crawling toward me, prostrate, talking about how they’re not worthy of my glorious time and attention. They scream and cry and reach for me and go, “Strong, smart woman! Fix me! Nurture me! Tell me what to do! FIX ME! LOVE ME! I worship you! WHAT? You don’t LIKE me? You can’t FIX me? I HATE you! I’m going to FUCKING KILL YOU!!”

I so know this script.

Do they believe that I have some sort of Life Secret that they don’t?

Do they believe I will act as some sort of big-hipped earth mother and pet away their woes (far, far, too many men with an interest in me are looking for absent mothers)?

Do they believe they can latch onto me and steal some of my spit and fire and hoard it for themselves?

Do they believe I’m a “fixer”?

Here’s the deal, boys: I don’t fix people. If you open up a conversation by trying to rip something out of me to bolster your own ego, your own fragile sense of self at the expense of mine, it’s not gonna go well. Been there, done that. I don’t take boys under my wing and baby them and raise them like fledgling chicks. I don’t believe you attach yourself to somebody and then figure out all of the things you’re going to “fix” about them. You’ve got the strength to get your shit together, or you don’t. And you work at it every damn day. And you don’t use people as crutches. You don’t steal other people’s souls cause you don’t have one. Period. The end. You’re a fucking adult. Figure out your damn life. Don’t try and steal mine.

I am not a self-help guru. I don’t know any more about life than you do.

So please, all you wonderful boys and borderline psychos out there, don’t grovel toward me like I’m the Female Jesus Christ. I know exactly what tomorrow’s flip side will be. Do not lay hold and scream, “FIX ME!” because the blood and guts on the floor when you’re done aren’t going to be mine.

Get your own shit together.

Feminism isn’t a fucking dating service.

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Writing Today

January 31, 2005

Been a while since I did any of that, huh? I’m pretty backlogged, and I miss writing. I miss my people.

If I go two or three months without writing anything substantial, I get a little weird… and I’ve been weird the last couple weeks.

Oddly, writing fantasy novels helps keeps me level. I think I’ve just been doing it for so long that I can’t imagine life without it.

Writing Today

January 31, 2005

Been a while since I did any of that, huh? I’m pretty backlogged, and I miss writing. I miss my people.

If I go two or three months without writing anything substantial, I get a little weird… and I’ve been weird the last couple weeks.

Oddly, writing fantasy novels helps keeps me level. I think I’ve just been doing it for so long that I can’t imagine life without it.

Blame it All on my Buddy Julian, for Sending the Link

January 31, 2005

Check out, “The Drugs Song.”

It’s one of those “useless bullshit” mornings here in Chicago…

Random Surrealism Generator

January 31, 2005

For your workday pleasure.

Surrealism



via mumpsimus

Ha. Ha. Those Pesky Girls

January 31, 2005

Fascinating article.

A couple of things: yea, at some point, encouraging people to have one kid and having a premium on having boys, you’re eventually going to get into trouble. I was wondering when they’d have to start addressing it:

There is such a glut of boys here – roughly 134 are born for every 100 girls – that the imbalance has forced an unlikely response from the Chinese government. To persuade more families to have girls, it has decided in some cases to pay families that already have daughters.

And, check out this bit at the end of the quoted text, especially, for something very familiar:

On a recent afternoon here in southeastern China, hundreds of students in the dirt courtyard of Lanxi Middle School held a parade rehearsal. The school goes through 12th grade, and about 60 percent of students in the higher grades are male. The marchers, mostly boys, waved flags and kicked dust in the air beside a billboard promoting the latest propaganda campaign: Respect Girls…

Mr. Hu said the exhibition room was supposed to build the self-esteem of girls, though it also seemed intended to impress visiting officials. Still, he said that young women were now eligible for college scholarships and that the number of recent female graduates attending college jumped to 271 in 2004 from 149 in 2003.

Lin Lingling, 18, a plucky senior who has hopes for college, is one of the stars of the program. “They say boys are good at logical things, so when they enter into high school, they say some of them are a lot better,” said Ms. Lin, a top student. “But we are the same.”

I’m concerned that “encouraging” people to have girls means not only stuff like the above, which is… cool, though worrisome because they feel they need to do it (and they’re right), but also by giving families money for having girls. This feels a lot like equating women with property, how many cows are you worth?

Ah, memories, party in South Africa, guy turning to me, “How many cows do you think you’re worth?”

Oh, man. Joking or not. Oh, man.

More on Pirates

January 30, 2005

Straight from boingboing:

The Business Software Alliance has put up some materials on why software piracy is bad. The reason they cite to stop piracy is that it keeps the software industry from getting bigger. My cow-orker Seth has revised their copy with several counterexamples to show what a strange proposition this is:

Original:

Some have attempted to paint copyright piracy as a victimless crime, arguing that “if I make a copy of a computer program, you still get to keep your copy, and we are both better off.” This is hardly the case.

Reducing piracy offers direct benefits. The equation is a basic one: the lower the piracy rate, the larger the IT sector and the greater the benefits.

Some of Seth’s revisions:

Some have attempted to paint printing as a victimless crime, arguing that “if I print a book, you can buy it from me, and we are both better off.” This is hardly the case. “Reducing printing offers direct benefits. The equation is a basic one: the lower the printing rate, the larger the scribes and bards sector, and the greater the benefits.”

Some have attempted to paint conjugal sexual intimacy as a victimless crime, arguing that “if you and I have intimate relations, we both derive pleasure and a sense of togetherness, and we are both better off.” This is hardly the case. “Reducing sex among committed partners offers direct benefits. The equation is a basic one: the lower the intimacy rate among committed partners, the larger the prostitution sector, and the greater the benefits.”

Some have attempted to paint ham radio as a victimless crime, arguing that “if you operate an amateur radio station, you and I can communicate across long distances, and we are both better off.” This is hardly the case. “Reducing the prevalence of amateur radio operators offers direct benefits. The equation is a basic one: the lower the rate of amateur radio communication, the larger the long distance telephone services sector, and the greater the benefits.”

Some have attempted to paint tooth-brushing as a victimless crime, arguing that “if you brush your teeth regularly, you improve your dental hygiene, and we are all better off.” This is hardly the case. “Reducing tooth-brushing offers direct benefits. The equation is a basic one: the lower the rate of tooth-brushing, the larger the dental prosthetic, dental filling, and dental surgical equipment sectors, and the greater the benefits.”

Those Were Damn Good Martinis

January 30, 2005

Drunken blog posts are like drunken e-mails, only with a far, far bigger audience. You sort of crawl out of bed the next morning and go, “I just posted that to 500 people. Damn.”

No more drunken blog posts. Really. I mean it this time.

Anyway, lots to do today. In the mean time, movie trailers. Orlando Bloom appears to be all grown up, and is looking damn prettier than I’ve ever seen him (I’m assuming this one’s gonna be about one of the Crusades that the Christians actually “won”), and, of course, I’ll have to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Because the candy’s gotta come from somewhere.

Drunk, Amid Lovers

January 30, 2005

At which point, the protagonist thinks: he does not have to be perfect. Just date. Pretend. It does not have to be real. Make something up. Just live in Chicago. Here. Now. Next to me. That’s all.

And the protagonist grabs another black russian, and switches out the contacts for glasses, and goes to watch Carnivale.

The SO, who is originally from Wichita, KS, says: “Don’t you ever fear that you’ll get sucked back into your small town?

Me: Yes. Every damn day. Every time I go back. Every day.

Another drink, another day.

He does not have to be perfect.

In Which the Protagonist Buys a Case of Beer, And All is Right With the World

January 29, 2005

Going out to dinner with Jenn and the SO tonight. Watching more of Carnivale. Dude, Nick Stahl can be kinda hot, in a broody, guy-next-door kind of way. I’d totally take him home, especially if I caught him reading something equally hot.

But I digress.

Doing a quick read-through of Margaret Atwood’s Good Bones. Quirky.

Man, I feel a lot better. I should resolve to spend more of my weekends angst-free.